Happy Halloween!!!!

Happy Halloween!!!  I had a fun with everyone that decided to join us on Friday night at the Parkway.  The band was good, and so was the company.  DD even won a dance contest to the Cupid Shuffle.  None of us dressed up this year, none of us I guess felt it.  I think Halloween snuck up on us fast this year. This whole year has actually been flying by.  The winter months are coming so we definitely need to dust off our darts and have a old fashioned Saturday afternoon of dart throwing!  It's been a long time.   

The trip home..... 

So when the taxi finally arrived Michael, DD, Kim, Tim and I piled in.  We were all smashed!  Well DD was more sober then the rest of us but since I am telling the story I was so drunk I think that everyone else was too.  Kim sat in the back with me leaning her head on the window repeatedly telling me how she really needed to get home, we all intended to go straight home but.....  like I said we were smashed.  I am not quite clear how close we were back to town before I couldn't find my purse or actually remember I had one to look for it.  I remember clearly saying hey I think I forgot my purse and all of us started feeling the floor in the back seat looking for it including Mister back seat driver we won't mention his real name.  Kim was unable to work her arms very well and all I could think of is how she reminded me of the Sesame Street character Grover.  She just swayed back and forth her arms limp as hell looking for my purse.  NONE of us found the purse and that is when we had to turn the taxi around.  The back street driver by this time is telling me what a dumb ass I am as Michael is saying his famous "QUIT IT" lmao.  We all know when Tim is done partying and if things don't go exactly right he is somewhat of a ummmmm yes I will say it an ASSHOLE!  He usually is quite charming I might add but on these particular moments charming isn't something that comes to mind.  We arrive back at Racks and all pile out of the mini van taxi to discover my purse is right there on the floor next to the back seat right where my legs would of been.  HMMMM so much for me leaving it at the bar!  So we all pile back in and by this time we are all calling Kim Grover as back seat driver is reminding me I am a dumb ass and Kim is telling us I just wanna go home and she is feeling a bit ill.  Michael is hungry and tells the taxi driver to go to Taco Bell.  I am saying oh Michael it is after 2 am Taco Bell is closed!  On the way there we spy that Poncho's is open all night if Taco Bell fails us.  Sure shit Taco Bell is closed so we make our way to Poncho's drive through by this time I am pretty certain the Taxi Driver is sick of us drunk assholes and Kim is leaning heavily on the window with her limp arms to her side telling me she doesn't want a burrito she just wants to go home!  We all get burritos and you know when your're drunk everything taste like HEAVEN so we are all damn happy eating our burritos and even though Kim at the time didn't want one we threw one on her lap to take home.  We drop Micheal off then Grover who needed assistance from the least drunk, DD.  Then we drop DD back off at her car at the Moon and then home to our house.  I think back seat driver gave Mister Taxi Man 40 bucks and I think Michael had as well so that was one fuckin expensive drunk taxi ride home!!!!  Do you think that is why just possibly some people attempt driving home drunk?  Just a thought.  So we all get home safe and if my unclear mind remembers correctly it was about 3:15am in the morning!  Now that was a Birthday night out!  I am still surprised we all got up and got ready to meet for lunch the next day but we sure shit did.  I know Kim most of the time wants to kill us and I hear often MICHELLE or I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!, but we sure had fun reminding her of all the fun we had and believe me I got my knocks too for the damn purse thing!  Denise didn't get to go to the strip club with us that night her and Gary had gone home but she sure made us laugh at lunch.  Denise is wearing her RayBan sunglasses on her head as she heads to the bathroom and when she returns we are joined by Tommy (remember Boobs's old boyfriend?) Denise comes back all excited and says you will never believe what just happened, and Tommy proceeds to say there was no toilet paper and you had to use your sock?  OMG Tommy is still damn funny.  She starts her story again after showing Tommy that isn't the case cause she has flip flops on so she couldn't of been wearing socks, he then interrupts her again asking if she had to use her panties to wipe.  LOL Denise said OMG NO and then finally gets to her story telling us she bent over to flush the toilet and saw her sunglasses whoosh right down the toilet.  Well thanks to Denise we heard the next day the Sandbar was closed due to plumbing problems!  Do you think that maybe you can't take any of us anywhere????  All I can say is DAMN we sure have fun!  So Peeps love you all maybe we should have thirsty Thursdays drinks at Butch's I think it is in order! 

Birthday Chocolate....

So a couple of weeks I went to the doctor and she asks me so do you drink everyday or socially, I said socially but I am VERY social!  lol So Friday night I think I will be VERY social!  Looking forward to everyone being there, 6 is a good time to save seats and get settled so we can all sit together that place gets busy and especially on a good band night!  I think I will bring camera in hand I feel a crazy coming on!

So last time I blogged I was thinking of good stories to tell that happened when I wasn't blogging for so long and no one had any suggestions and DD agreed with my story so here it goes!  Kim's birthday seems to be always a time that we go out and usually a good story comes from it and this past birthday was no different.  We started out all calm like we generally do and met at the Parkway hoping the band would be good, it was not that great but the company was great and the drinks were awesome.  The band ends at 11 and we were all drunk as hell and decided we wanted to dance more so as we parted we told everyone see ya at the Beacon to all who is interested in continuing this party!  Tim, I and Kimmy all piled in Michael's truck and as soon as we started to pull off Kim says I think I want to go to Racks!  As soon as it left her lips Michael said you don't have to ask me twice!  So off we headed to the strip club and Kim is like I think I was kidding, I told her too late we are going to the strip club.  Keep in mind we are all about the fun and forget to tell anyone else we are taking a detour from our original plan.  We get there and see Tracey right when we walk in the door so he was like us and decided the strip club sounded more fun Michael, Tim and Kim head straight to the stage and grab seats and the dollar bills started flying from Michael's pocket on to the stage and mostly landing in front of Kim, as Tracey and I take a seat and get drinks.  We weren't there too long before Kim came back to the table and said hey Michael keeps putting all the dollars in front of me, I said oh really better go back then!  lol  She wanders back happy she has beer and is in a daze watching the stripper. A bit later and few drinks later DD arrives finding out that hey you assholes you didn't come to the Beacon!  At that point Kim comes back over and sits and says "omg I just got molested by a stripper!".  We all just laugh and laugh and then Michael and Tim come back to the table with shots Michael just purchased and after the shots Kim was whisked away for her lap dance Michael just bought her.  We know Kimmy is drunk to actually go for a lap dance so we are all laughing to see how this turns out.  Minutes later Kim comes running back to the table and says MICHELLE we have to go to the bathroom right now, I go with her and she is so funny telling me omg am I a lesbian now??????  I was like NO it doesn't rub off on you!  Still laughing she tells me how she was sitting there and that stripper popped her boob right in her mouth!  I started laughing even harder by now cause I know how when Kim is drunk and when she is astonished she gets a blank stare and lets her mouth fall open.  She is so funny she says well earlier that stripper molested me she licked her finger touched my nipple then grabbed my crotch and now this are you sure I am not a lesbian now?  I assured her she isn't and no there is nothing wrong with being one nor does Kimmy think so so please no offense but Kim is straight as an arrow and drunk as hell so she had in her mind that made her one. When we join the others and the club is closing and Michael has ordered us a taxi and by this point the shot on top of the 50 beers has hit Kim and between Michael, Tracey and DD she was bobbing back and forth as they kept her up right waiting on the taxi.  She kept saying Michael am I a lesbian now?  LOL  There is so much more to this story but I will save the trip home for another blog because it is a story in itself!  The next day though we meet for lunch so we could tell Denise the stripper story and we all proceeded giving Kimmy hell because she is so sweet and innocent and as gullible as they come.  We were laughing and calling her Ellen Degenerate lmao and teasing how Lesbianism isn't something u pick up by touching one and we also wanted to know if she wanted another chocolate stripper.  Now anyone reading I am not being rude really but hey it is what it is that beautiful stripper was the color of milk chocolate and so we fondly call her Kimmy's chocolate stripper.  I love Kim and I love that we can get drunk and do stupid things together and laugh and laugh about it for years to come.  Life is good!  

Unsolved Mystery.....

Do you think when you die you will get answers to stupid questions too?  You know those little unsolved mysteries that make you wonder how in the hell did that happen!?!  Well one of those mysteries for me is where did that joint come from?  Some of you may of heard this story and some of you may not have but I am still wondering, WTF!  About a year ago Tim and I went out on a Friday night at the Moonlight I remember we sat at the bar all night and had a absolute blast (of course that is when you were able to smoke and drink in the bar!)  We went home lit of course and I peeled off my clothes by the bed went to the bathroom and jumped in bed feeling something on my foot, I had already taken out my contacts and I thought shit is that toilet paper????  I turned on the light and examined it closer and to my astonishment it was a damn joint!  I thought where in the hell did this come from!  I examine it closer and it has had maybe one puff off it and it is not flat or damaged like it might of wandered in on the bottom of my boot.  So then I am pissed I think maybe one of my fricken kids had a joint in my house! So I fire off a text and said "which one of you or your friends is smoking pot in my house!!!!!!"  I get texts back immediately both say NO mom we wouldn't do that!  Now my kids are honest with me they have always been fairly honest with me and know they can talk to me about anything.  Brooke calls me immediately after her text and I tell her now you be honest this damn thing didn't just WALK by itself in my house!  She said mom I would tell you.  The cleaning lady had just been by the house the day before so she said do you think it is hers?  I told her come on Brooke I would of noticed Yesterday if a joint was on my bedroom floor or the damn dogs would of ate it by then!  Then Randi comes home just to look me in the eye and swear she has no idea where this joint has come from either.  So then I am thinking that damn thing had to be in my clothing, it is right there on the floor where I took off my clothing and since it is in pristine shape it had to be in my bra, it just had to be.   Within the next few days I text the cleaning gal and she swears to me it isn't hers and then I go to the Moon and ask everyone if they have maybe lost something on Friday night!  I told Mona I had something for the lost and found LMAO, and both her and I know that would be claimed pretty quickly and probably not by the right owner!   Well no one claimed up to losing this joint.  Tim even asked me if the cops came in the Moon that night maybe someone ditched it on me haha, but I don't recall that happening either but damn if I would of got pulled over for drinking and driving that night I would of been the only one telling the truth when I told the PO PO that isn't mine officer!  Wouldn't I make an episode of Cops!  So to this day I am still wondering how in the hell that joint got on me and home with me!  Too bad Unsolved Mysteries still doesn't air I think they might be interested in airing my story,   Ya right!  OK taking a vote what story next, your choice, Am I a Lesbian now? is foremost on my mind or you tell me one!  Well peeps enjoy the week love all around! 

No drive thru traffic....

Before I get started on today's blog I must say Thank you Theresa for your comment and hell I forgot your apparently... I think most of us know Theresa's apparently... but hell here it goes. Apparently... After 9 beers I can do the most amazing bar room Olympics! Oh yes you can baby girl, I have scored you a 10 on a couple of occasions! I don't know if it was the Olympic skills you showed or not spilling your beer when you did them? hmmmm.

Sooooo yesterday about 4:30 my cell phone lights up and I am thinking who would be calling me and since my cell phone doesn't work in this metal building at my work I had to let it go to voice mail. I see it is from Denise so I listen to my voice mail right away, but she didn't leave a message instead all I hear her doing is talking to someone else, but just as I was done with that here comes the text Help Me. So I texted back what? She texts back Help, I text where are you, she texts the Sanbar help me! So then I text do you need a ride? I get ty back. LOL So I leave work early to see what kinda trouble my lil Denise is in. When I walk into the Sandbar there is like 4 men at the bar and NO Denise so I ask Tami if she has seen a lil blonde running around and she says ohhhhhhhhh you must be her ride and laughs. She then proceeds to apologize to me because of the amount of shots she has fed her through out the day, and directs me to the patio area.  Where yep there is Denise and Trina hammered off their ass's!  Apparently Denise went to lunch and well she didn't leave until Dinner time with me! So I pick up pickled Denise (thanks Gary for that term) and head to her house and ya we all know Denise once she starts partying she gets hyped up and wants to do more so I call Kimmie and Tim and tell them I will be picking them up.  We all head to Butch's and proceed to have a few and then decide we better all get home since I am DD and well you know me I had a few and no eating so maybe not the best DD but hell I am feeling fine and confident!  So we drop the pickled Denise at home and as she is exiting my jeep she is really appreciative of the song playing on my ipod,  Dancing With Myself, and as she is Dancing with herself head butt's Gary's truck door so Kimmie thinks it is best to walk Denise to the front door.  So that is what started the giggles between Kim and I.  We proceed to take Kim home, Kim is up front with me and Tim is in back doing his usual back seat driving, when we come up to a sign that says NO DRIVE THRU TRAFFIC.  FUCK right?  So I thought ok then I will turn right and use the next street but when I get to the end of that street they have the whole damn thing coned off!  So instead of backing down the street and figuring out where it is I am allowed to drive thru I tell my passengers to hang on!  Of course the back seat driver I won't mention his name is telling me I am a dip shit and to back up but nope I am gonna plow that fuckin cone over!  So Kim and I are laughing hysterically as I turn the corner dragging that cone thinking to myself it looks like a candy corn and pull to the side and stop.  At this time I think it would be best if the back seat driver gets out and gets the damn cone from under my car and at the same time he is telling me I am not getting out to get that cone Dip Shit, Kim and I notice the cone is still at the front of my car.  So laughing our ass's off I back the jeep up and dump that damn cone and drive Kimmie home safe and sound.  I am telling you I laughed until I went to bed and Kim and I kept texting eachother back and forth calling eachother cone heads and I think it ended with Kim cracking herself up so much she might of pee'd her pants!  Well probably not it wasn't meant to take literal I am sure! LOL  So Hey DD not designated driver but Dorthea Darlene, now I have hit a candy cane striped pole and ran over a candy corn cone!  Oh and both times this has happened in the month of October!!!!  If you all don't know the candy striped pole story then I guess you best get busy and read my old blogs!!!!!  Love all around! 

Apparently...

Apparently riding the dog like it is a small pony is frowned upon in this establishment!  LOL  Apparently... has become a new term for us.  It all started when every time we twisted off real good I would get these texts either when Kimmie got home or the next morning and apparently I wasn't the only one Denise gets them too!  The texts would start out apparently...  hmmmm so let me recall a few.  Apparently I have a drinking problem and need to stop drinking. or there was apparently I need to quit going out and stay home and never leave my house!  or my all time favorite apparently I should not drink shots!...  Apparently we want her to continue leaving the house, drinking, and most certainly doing shots!  So the term was born!  So now we want to make shirts and each person would have apparently...  (don't forget the all important dot dot dot afterwards) on the front and on the back would be a statement to your apparently.  So let's begin with Kimmie, boy with Kimmie we have a selection but my all time favorite and her most used one is Apparently...  I have a drinking problem!  Well the way I look at it if she does then we all damn sure do! or the second one Apparently... I did WHAT last night????  Denise is another of my favorites.  If you know Denise then you know it is true she is the sweetest most loving woman and it is an honor being her friend but even the sweetest can get pissed at you!  Denise will hold in her pissed for a while and what does it take for that pissed to come boiling out?  hmmmm it might be a Urban Legend but I think it takes Vodka to come boiling out.  That Vodka just helps her release and if she releases on you, you better bet your butt you deserved it.  Hell I been told off by Denise before and if you have it coming then just buck up and take it!  So with that being said have you seen those shirts that say instant asshole just add alcohol?  Well Denises would say just add Vodka and I will tell YOU, YOU are an ASSHOLE!  hahahhahah  I truly crack my ownself up!  Then there is DD, we couldn't settle on just one for her if you partied with DD at Butch's then you appreciate this one, Apparently... ONE pitcher is NEVER enough!  Got to appreciate DD's double fisting pitchers of Tequila Como Cauzies!  (ya don't ask me how to spell that word I gave up!)  Then on days she isn't partying she needs to wear this one...  Apparently... I need to tattoo my insuarnce card on my ASS!  Yes are little accident prone DD.  She claims she doesn't have her "accidents" when she is carrying her insurance card so Tiffany and I decided then if she had it tattoo'd on her ass then maybe she won't be accident prone anymore...  hmmmmmm maybe the insurance company will actually pay for that Tat man imagine the thousands of dollars they will save!  Then we come to Smiley...  You know who I am talking about right?  Yep Gary Dean Smiley, his would be apparently... I am a Lallygagger!  But recently I am thinking he is just the Lally and Denise is the Gagger (hmmm that sounded naughty huh) because depending on the day it is a toss up who the Lallygagger really is!  So maybe Gary's should be Apparently... YOU should be nice to Hippies!  You know you got to love a Hippie that is smiley right?  Timothy Wayne's is simple and all of us I am sure would agree it would be Apparently...  WE GOT TO GO!  (thanks Michael for that term! NOT)  or secretly I think his would be Apparently... I am a FUN SUCKER!  hahahah  Glad Timothy doesn't read my nonsense...  So now to Michael hmmmm have we ever discussed his I can think of a few actually, like Apparently...  I like BAD BAD Girlfriends!  or Apparently...  I have a passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it!!!  or Apparently...  I am a chic magnet!  hehe I don't think Michael reads my nonsense either, hell he might find me as entertaining as I do though!  As for mine I have no idea so I will leave that up to you all cause Apparently...  I am at a loss for words!  ha  After remembering all the Apparently... sayings I think we need to order these because I think we are on to something here!  So comment let's hear what your ideas are for the people we haven't thought of their apparentlies or if you have better ones for others.  Love all around! 

One more day till Friday.....

It's all right if you love me
It's all right if you don't
I'm not afraid of you running away
Honey, I get the feeling you won't

There is no sense in pretending
Your eyes give you away
Something inside you is feeling like I do
We've said all there is to say

That song is stuck in my head!  Sooooo anyone want to fess up to my anonomous commentor on my blog is?  My curiosity is peeked.....  Had a lot of fun last night for those of you that came out and thanks DD for wanting to see me, I have missed you so!  We are SORRY Kimberly that you didn't get invited, two of us thought one or the other had let you know.  When you didn't come I assumed you didn't want to drive clear to Butch's like you usually don't.  So I will make it up to you!  Soon we will get our whole gang all together I miss a few I haven't seen for a while and I would like to see you all at once lol...  I know not much of a blog today my mind is a lil muddied from all the booze last night so tomorrow I will get on a good blog hmmmm maybe we will write about apparantley...   

The song selection today on the side is Hugo....  99 problems and it is dedicated to DD!  it is the last clip in the line of 4 :) enjoy....

Happy Hour is calling.....

Buy me a drink, sing me a song, Take me as I come . cause I can't stay long.  I have reminded Tim that Butch's happy hour last till 7 on Wednesday's.  Shouldn't everyone get a lil drunk on hump day? 

Monday!

What is good about a Monday?  Hmmm I guess that I woke up?  lmao!  So I had a very relaxing weekend, first in quite sometime.  Friday night Tim and I went out for a few drinks and was home by 9, was so unusual for us just to go him and I.  Saturday was Brookie's 19th birthday so we stayed home and did household things and then had cake and icecream for our Birthday Girl.  Sunday I was on total relaxation mode, I slept in and did absolutely not a damn thing!  I hope all of you had a great weekend as well.  I know that the Grease Monkies are playing this Friday maybe we should plan and out night and get all of us together!  Sounds like something fun to do.  Let me know if any of you think that sounds good, or should we do the lunch thing Saturday and the horse races or the lunch thing and then dice?  I am ready for some fun!  Well Peeps Happy Monday! 

I've got the glow.....

Happy Thursday!  Thank God it is almost Friday what a long damn week!  Last night I went to do the shopping right after work, my daughters birthday is Saturday and I didn't want to leave everything for that day and be rushed.  So I forced Tim along (lol) and as we were in the entrance of Walmart guess who we saw that we have not seen forever????  John and Burgandy!  Has been a long time and Tim and I have really missed them. We started to part ways to do our shopping and John said "Michelle you look so good you just have such a glow about you!"  I smiled and Tim and Burgandy said "Well she isn't pregnant!"  YIKES that is when women have a glow right?  or after sex?  Well I didn't just have sex so damn did my shirt I was wearing give me that pregnant appearance?  (that shirt is going to the trash by the way!) or is it because of that amazing facial I had two weeks ago, or maybe it is the vitamins I started taking religiously?  So I smiled and I said "NOPE not pregnant just got a lil bit chunky!".  Who knows what he meant by I had a glow, but I know me I know I have gained weight and I am thinking that "glow" is the keg I have put on in the gut area!  So I think I am going to get my damn ass motivated and get rid of the pudge!  :)  Sorry I missed texts last night to have a drink I get on a mission and I don't notice my phone but I think everyone is aware of my ways by now.  So soon we all need to get together again, DD has been missing out and is ready to do something fun, yesterday she was texting me song lyrics so that is a sign to me she is ready to P A R T Y!  Hell I am always ready for a party!  I have posted I Am Sexy and I Know It, I hope it posted right that fuckin video is a riot!  I have a passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it show it show it!  Ok Peeps back to work with me, love all around! 

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to  our sweet lil flower child, Denise!  Denise I wish you all the finest blessings life can offer you! 

What a weekend!  Ken said it best as we were leaving Tensleep, "I think we left our footprint on that town!".  We certainly did! 

We left Saturday and had a great ride stopping in Kaycee and Buffalo.  The ride was perfect the weather was perfect and the company was Extraordinary we had Denise, Gary (the lolligaggers) Ken and Gina, Bodie (lil bastard haha Gary's lil brother) and Kimmie (lil brat)! We arrived in Tensleep starving so we walked to the first bar that served food and had a great dinner, after dinner we thought we should spread the wealth and spend some of our money at the only other bar in town which was only maybe 3 doors down lol.  That is when the birthday party began...   Shots! Shots! and MORE Shots!  I think the first shot we had was a shared one, Fireball after that I don't recall but the name of three of them.  As we all talked about them the next day we settled on we did at least 6 in a row.  Funny thing is the girl that always says and I am not doing shots is the one that picked them all out from these index cards that the bartender was all to eager to give us.  So the three shots that Kim was responsible for picking was hmmmm let me see there was a Climax, a Screaming Orgasim, and last but not least a Deep Throat.  Are you thinking what I am thinking?  Thought so our sweet, innocent, quiet lil sugar coated Kimmie is a dirty girl!  (or perhaps she is a lil horny?)  Ya I know she will kill me for that...  After those 3 shots I recall the names of and several more at $72.00 later we decided it was dancing time and if you know Denise you know her feet dance better naked!  So Gina and I took it upon ourselves to make her take off her shoes.  I got the first one off the second one welllllll Gina pulled her leg up and this is how Denise broke her butt!  (is that why there is a crack?) lol  Her ass certainly didn't hurt that night we had at least 4 drinks and the 6 shots before this happened.  So not one of our brightest ideas the poor thing is a pain in the ass haha jokin I mean she has a pain in her ass!  The night proceeded with dancing, drinking and laughter back and forth between both bars, one bar we liked the drinks and the bartender but the other one we like the internet juke box!  So we would get a drink and walk to the bar with the internet juke box and play a song dance and then wander back.  Of course the men planted ass and didn't move until we finally decided to end up only at the bar with the internet juke box!  There were plenty more antics of that night but we will save them for a non written space I do like to keep my friends!  hahahahaha.  So as I always say love all around! 

What will they think of next.....

Long time no Blog!  Last night something caught me funny and as I was cracking myself up today passing it around by email I came to a realization how I missed blogging my stupidity!  Wonder if you all miss reading it?  So let's see if I can maintain blogging again and catching up on some amazing times we have all shared since I have not been blogging.  To be honest we have had some bad times too, we have lost some friends from the circle (what I call it) and that never comes easy.  Life comes with many changes and some changes at the time you don't understand and in the long run might end up being the best for you.  As I was typing that I thought of something on a more positive note, we have also added some great people to our circle of friends so there is much to write about and I hope my friends keep me motivated to do so!  So today I will blog about "what will they think of next!"

Last night I went to Dinner at the Fire Rock with Tim and two good friends Sue and Michael, after a great meal a bottle of wine between us two girls Sue suggested going to Hooches for one night cap.  We sat down by the specials sign and you all know me I am easily entertained at times.  So I was wondering what you all thought of the new Smirnoff Vodka flavors they have added to the endless amount of flavors already out there?  Kisses Peeps and enjoy the weekend!!!!!  ohhhhh and I am sure this weekend will give me plenty to blog about!  ;)