What can be said......

I'm not sure if that comment about you don't want to be your kids best friend you are their mother was meant for me, but yes I am my kids best friend and they are not afraid to confide in me and I'm not afraid or ashamed to talk to them. Randi knew about you in the contest from Brooke not me. Theresa

I don't like handling things this way but it seems to be the direction this is going. My blog is my diary of my thoughts, my dreams, and my fun or disappointment and so I guess I will use this outlet to say what I need to say. Just to clear something up this comment was not directed to you. This blog was written before me finding out the events of Saturday night. I was stating that because that is they way I am. When they were wanting to discuss the events of what I had done, I just said to them yes this is why you don't drink too much because you do stupid things as your mother did! I would never tell anyone else how to parent ever it is not my place. I now realize Brooke told Randi of my behavior and I also take full responsibility for my actions and that I now know you're never safe from your kids finding out what you do. I might not however ever tell someone how to parent but with that being said I would never cross a line and disrespect the rules, wishes or beliefs of another parent. I am saying my comment was not directed at anyone just stating the events and how I am with my children.

If a comment on face book was directed at me well then this is how I feel about that.... Hypocrite is a person that says one thing and does another. I am a 40 year old woman that drinks that does not let my 16 & 17 year old drink. If you feel that makes me a hypocrite then I guess I am. But I feel that is a delusional way of looking at the meaning of that word. And as for people in glass houses should not cast stones. Well the way I see that is I am the woman standing in the shattered glass house that the stone was cast at. I am hurt beyond measurement. I feel all people fuck up in life but how you handle it by your actions, words, behavior and how you take responsibility for what you have done is key. If I fuck up with a friend that I love I would be at their door telling them I fucked up, I hope they could find a way in their heart to forgive me and take full responsibility for what I had done. I know we are all human and it is hard not to cast a finger at another. I am not a perfect person. I am hurt yes, but what is worse is my daughter is so hurt she can't even smile and she is feeling guilt for something a child should not feel guilt over.

What has happened has happened. We can not turn back what is done. I do not cast judgment on anyone but I can clearly feel the way I do and that feeling at this point in time is...... My trust has been broken, and my heart is broken. Nothing more nothing less.

Just Say NO.......

Hi everyone! Well time to catch up again.... I always think I will have to blog and seldom do! I am sorry! Well last Saturday was the biker ball. I look forward to this event every year. We go and buy our tickets in early September in Kaycee. They only sell 500 tickets so we have to leave about 7 am and stand in line until 12 when they go on sale to insure we get our ticket. This year when we went to Kaycee we went up with Kim and Connie. I was of course drunk by around 11 am lol! When we got to the biker ball Tim I found a table close to the stage and were excited to find JP, Joanie, Charlie, Bridget, Connie and her man and have a awesome group of fun people at our table. The evening started mild. I wasn't really feeling it this year and I felt tired and not really like drinking. This should be a warning to me this will be the time I get most shit faced and well do something totally crazy! As the evening went on after dinner, into about my 4 cocktail and well into the drawing of the tickets, someone brought up shots. I said I am game but NO jager it makes me crazy! I have not drank Jager for 2 years and for good reason. Everytime I have I do BAD things and the next day my stomach is tore up and I have a nervous jittery feeling. I am not sure if the nervous feeling is from the Jager or from the regret I feel for my behavior! LOL So anyway Charlie came back with shots and guess what it was????? Yep you guessed it Jager! I said I am warning you ahead of time and I am only drinking one! Well further in the night the band started up which was our friends the Eli Manor Band. We all were pretty tuned by that time and had drank many more shots which yes I had more then that one shot of Jager! The one shut off my NO button by that time. We were enjoying dancing and drinking and by this time Kelly and DD had showed up, since they are Eli Manor Band's best groupies and well my best of friends! We had a ball all dancing! Then came the Contest. Yes always has to be some form of the contest at all biker events. You know the one? The contest you know has to be about the titties! This one wasn't a wet t-shirt contest this time it was a full out let's show are tits to everyone in the whole room kinda contest. The contest was announced and I grabbed DD, Kelly, and Bridget so we could go up to the stage and watch. I saw a few really cute girls and coaxed them up on stage and then and I am going to blame Kelly on this if I remember correctly I think she is the one the shoved my ass up there. When she did this woman that I work with her son was up there and when I tried to exit the stage she grabbed me and then there I was fuckin stuck! Chris the woman I work with her son was dancing around me and pulled my top down so I thought alright what the hell I am in it to win it! So my drunk ass took my turn at dancing around the old biker sitting on a chair and showing him my old ass tits. I think the winner with mine is hell they aren't a bad size, secondly one is pierced that is always a turn on, thirdly my sweet ass tattoo between em and then the 4th my friends I think cheered me on the hardest and loudest! I am so smashed at this point most of the contest is a blur I just remember it was me and one other girl left and she is the one I coaxed on the stage to begin with and we were suppose to dance. Well hell I love to dance and I can shake everything my momma gave me and miss 24 year old fake tits couldn't dance! So next thing I knew I was on stage by myself I see her sitting on the old man's lap we had to show are tits and I think Kelly said you won! I am still not sure just remember Tim saying get your money baby and I handed about half back to the guy for the Vets benefit. I shoved the money in my bra and went to Kelly laughing my ass off about what the hell I just did! I am not sure if I am just a wild ass bitch or a dumb one! But I was proud at that point that my old ass beat the young girl out! I wished my high about winning stayed with me to the next day but I woke up with a bit of regret, embarrassment and that nervous feeling of I am such an idiot! Tim then tells me he thinks me and the other girl tied. LOL don't ask me fuck I don't remember I just remember I had a wad of money and I remember being the only one on stage! I thought all of it would live down and I was hoping no one I knew besides my friends I already knew were there had seen my bad behavior! Well that came to a fast shut down as of this Saturday night! I walked into the Moony and hugged Cody as I walked in the door and sat up to the bar. Later Cody follows me down and says you know the girl I am sitting with she says she has a picture of your tits on her phone! I was like OMG my worse nightmare is happening what could be worse????? I could end up on fuckin U-Tube! I laughed and said and how would she have that? And Cody said I hear you won a titty contest at the biker ball and she wasn't surprised I would do something like that! Soooooo at this point I am thinking I should relax right everyone knows I am well...... crazy! Later on in the evening I was confronted by one more woman that said Heyyyyyy I still can't believe you got up there and won that thing! Now everywhere I go I will be wondering if hmmmm wonder if he or she was there! I still at this point felt very safe that my kids didn't know. I am not one to share much with my kids I am not a type of mother that is their best friend I am their mother. Well Randi found out through Theresa and I am thinking hmmm that is okay Randi is old enough to know her mother is a nut. Then Brooke says you think I don't know? I am like know what? She said remember my boyfriends mom was there and I said sure I do but she went home I am safe right? Wishful thinking her friends were still there and sent her a text and pic of me to her phone sooooooooo HOLY SHIT!!!!! So the conclusion of this story is Michelle will never drink Jager again! Michelle will from now on keep her top on! But..... I won't promise I will totally behave what would be the fun in that! I am young once I will only live once so I am going to fucking live it! But...... I do not want to be on U-Tube!!!!!!!! So anyway last night Theresa, Sean, and Paula all came out and we ended up having a blast and yes I even kept my clothes on! At about 12 Theresa, Sean, Antonio, Gabby, Gerimo, Stef, me and Tim all went to breakfast and then made it back to the Moony for last call shots! The bet was Antonio wouldn't be able to stay away to satisfy his wife when he got home and he bet she would fall asleep before he got a chance! LOL So this morning Tim texted Antonio and he said he got naked got into bed and Gabby was fast asleep so the girls LOST! Damn! So here is the catch up on what I have been up to! Yes I am still crazy and yes I still love all you peeps! Love all around!

Thought for the day:

If live isn't fun then you aren't living it right!!!!!!

Happy New Year!!!!!!

I know it has been an incredibly long time since I have written. I been on vacation for an extended amount of time and I have been sick. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired! I hope everyone's Christmas was great! Mine was wonderful. Tim and I went for drinks Wednesday night and enjoyed ourselves then on Christmas Eve we enjoyed family time and then went to Tim's folks for our regular Christmas Eve celebration. We had an awesome time. The girls got wonderful gifts from Tim's mom & Dad from their favorite store Aeropostale. Tim, I, his sister and her husband chipped in and bought his folk's a beautiful clock from Ayers Jewelry. So we had a great Christmas Eve. Christmas Day we got up and Tim and I got our huge 24 lbs Turkey and stuffing ready for the oven as we waited for my parents to come over and watch the girls tear into their presents. I miss those days when they were little and had us up at the crack of dawn and I knew they would be delighted with the beautiful baby doll that we had got them from Santa. Well now days the present are a hell of a lot more expensive and they pretty much know what they are going to get. I still have a blast with the stockings though. I love buying lil trinkets, jewelry, candy, makeup, and anything cool and unusual I can find to put in them. After the kids unwrapped all their gifts we always go over to Dorie's for Christmas breakfast. I love this tradition Dorie makes the most incredible breakfast! It is amazing and I love seeing her whole family which I consider my family too! Having all this week off has been great I just wished I didn't have this cold in my chest is all. But still very relaxing. For New Years Eve it is tradition for Tim and I to stay home. We always have stayed home we fondly call the night amateur night and we don't want to be around all the drunk idiots and the cops. So we decided since we were both off to go down about 5:30 and have a few drinks with the girls... The girls being my sweet DD & Kelly. DD & Kelly were the only two in our gang that were going to be around and we thought hey what the hell they wanted to be home early too. Well we showed up and I was tired still feeling sick and the girls were in their work clothes, and Kimmy was even there saying she was going home early too so it still looked good for the original plan. What happened I still don't know I will blame it on the jello shots! But I ended up having a fucking blast and ringing in the New Year with the absolute greatest people and even with Theresa who had back surgery that day! She called me right after Midnight to my surprise so this New Year was a very memorable one for sure! We sat at a table with Kim, Amy, Ryan a group of their friends, DD, Kelly, Ti, Marcus, Pat, the Channel 13 weather guy his gf, Kenny and his wife and a cardboard cut out of our friend Missy! DD, Ti, Emma, Tressa & I danced our fricken ass's off. So much so the next day I thought I was gonna die from the muscle and hip and knee and ankle aches! Holygeezbananas am I fuckin old or what!!!!! Damn! DD made me laugh my ass off I love when she gets that crazy ass kinda drunk she is the absolute life of a party and just makes me crazy too! We feed off eachother so well that is could be trouble! She was wearing her elmer fud winter hat and her scarf dancing around the dance floor getting everyone fired up. Everyone would come up to me and say your girl friend rocks and I would say I know why do you think I love her? Sheesh everyone should know by now I have the greatest friends in the world! Yesterday I went and bought the newest addition of the Garrett family.... I bought a male miniature Schnauzer who I fondly named Angus after my favorite band AC/DC. He is NAUGHTY! But cute as a button ohhhhhh I will take pictures and post them here as quickly as possible. As we were putting up all the Christmas decorations today that lil shit would steal things and run with them. Gotta love that naughty puppy stage! And not to mention how the lil shit woke me up by biting the holy hell outta me. I was like sheesh you were so sweet yesterday what in the hell happened I was thinking of changing his name to Lucifer! Well all I love you and I miss the ones of you that I haven't seen in a while. We need to plan a night out together real soon! Next week Tim and I have the biker ball, cross your fingers for us to bring home a new bike! That would be awesome! smooochesssss all! Hope all of you have a Happy New Year and all of you are blessed with joy, love and prosperity!