7909 on the juke box is in my head today!

Hillbilly Stomp
by Kid Rock

Sorry no video on this song, call me up and I will sing it to ya! haha

Im drunk again
Exscuse the hiccup
The redneck originator
Rollin in my pick up
Truck jacked up with the 4 gold shocks
And where i come from
Mud flaps come in stock

People kid rock it
Up and down the block
And the hens all flock to the coup
With the cock
You wanna rock with me baby
Row it down to the swamp
Dock your boat
We'll do the hillbilly stomp
We'll do the hillbilly stomp

I like stuckies, truckers and big mesh hats
I like large round women in loundromats
I like to wander jack
Like a backwoods thug
And watch the moonshine through
The bottom of a jug
Huggin and kissin, with my vision all blurry
Siftin through this world of worry
Hurry up with love
Please God bless
I dont do drugs anymore
Or any less

I didnt start this mess on this planet
Stop lookin at me like a bandit
Ivebeen chillin
Down at the swamp
With the folks that want
To do the hillbilly stomp
Do it
We'll do the hillbilly stomp

(Here is where Michelle stands up and sings the best fucking part in the song!)
Now people wanna know how to do this dance
Lift your legs in the air like you wet your pants
Plant your hands on the top of your butt
And stomp around the woods
Like your all fucked up

Circle up the trucks
Fire up the brush
Utuck your shirt
Were gonna kick some dust
Dont two plus two it
Or three plus three it
Four by four to a place thats scenic
Heat it up like some hot ham hocks cookin
And hop to the spot where
Where the cops arent lookin
Bring your whole flock
Down to the stomp
And we can rock all night doing
The hillbilly stomp
Do it
The hillbilly stomp
The hillbilly stomp

Do you know who the unknown comic is??????

I haven’t received any stories as of yet so I guess you are stuck with my ramblings. I have been told your stories are coming. :0)

I love practical jokes. LOVE THEM. I do them now and then and they come to me in a time of silliness. Yes, I do usually crack myself up! So I thought I would share one of those stories with you today, believe me I have plenty and I am sure I will get an opportunity to sneak one in my blog every now and then.

The names in this story have NOT been changed because the persons in this story are NOT innocent and need no protection!

One evening my friend Kim, my sister in law Laurie and myself decided to pull a prank on a girl one of us was related to and to be honest none of us particularly liked. So it was a prank to us, and not so funny to this girl. I won’t release her name, no she isn’t innocent but HELL even after all these years she would not find humor in what we did. (Thank God she would never read this blog!) What did we do? Well let me date myself, do you remember the unknown comic? If you don’t he was a comic that came on stage wearing a paper bag on his head with only eye holes cut out of the bag. What possessed us to dress like the unknown comic this particular night might not ever be known.

Kim, Laurie and I went to the grocery store and instead of buying a 98 cent carton of eggs, Kim stole the eggs out of the carton and put them in her pockets (can we say clepto?) and then we proceeded up to the check out lane to get 2 paper bags. (Yes this happened a long time ago before they had plastic!) We then got in Laurie’s car and cut holes in the paper bags for our eyes and proceeded over to the targets house. Now if you know my sister in law Laurie you would be like WOW she did this shit with you? YES she did and she was an awesome get away driver! Kim and I put the bags over our heads while she was driving us over to the targets house, Laurie parks the car down the block and around the corner and we leave the doors open for a quick get away. We walk up the street with these damn bags on our heads & eggs in our jacket pockets on a very busy street none the less to this girl’s house. When we arrive at the house we ring the door bell and run to sidewalk and wait for the target to open the door. Target opens the door and wham, bam, slam, egg face and house! We then proceed to run down the street with these damn bags on our head, laughing hysterically. Now you can imagine when you are running the eye holes in the bags are not really staying in alignment with our real eyes! So here we are trying to run in a straight line on a busy street none the less laughing our asses off while trying to hold these damn bags in place! We hop in the get away car and drive off and continue to think we are the funniest damn people alive! Did we get caught?

NO we didn’t get caught but close. Kim was the one related to this girl, and yes the girl did call the police about the incident. She told the police that there was a short girl and a tall girl running away from her house with bags on their head and she THINKS these girls looked like it was us. The police only contacted Kim, and well we had our shit together and WE had an air tight alibi! Thank you Delicia, I promise it was just one lie you won’t go to Hell! (Lucky for me I have no rap sheet which would include being with a shoplifter, assault with a deadly egg & impersonating The Unknown Comic!) My unknown comic days are behind me or are they?????????

Thought for the Day:

Live is short so have fun with it and don't forget to LAUGH!

Song in my head for Thursday...... Yes I have my boots on do you?

These Boots Are Made For Walkin
By Nancy Sinatra

You keep saying
You got something for me
Something you call love
But confess
You've been a'messin
'Where you shouldn't've
Been a'messin'
And now someone else
Is getting all your best

Well, these boots are
Made for walking, and
That's just what they'll do
One of these days
These boots are

Gonna walk all over you

You keep lyin'
When you oughta be truthin'
You keep losing
When you oughta not bet
You keep samin'
When you oughta be a'changin'
What's right is right but
You ain't been right yet

These boots are

Made for walking
And that's just
What they'll do
One of these days
These boots are
Gonna walk all over you

You keep playing
Where you shouldn't be playing
And you keep thinking that
You'll never get burnt (ha)
Well, I've just found me
A brand new box of matches(Yeah)
And what he knows
You ain't had time to learn

These boots are
Made for walking and
That's just what they'll do
One of these days
These boots are

Gonna walk all over you

(Spoken:)Are you ready, boots?
Start walkin'

Who is Michelle?

I think I know who I am. I am a little bossy, brash and am always up for a good time! I think I am pretty good at looking deep into who I am, and seeing my good and bad qualities. But I am sure like many others I am curious how people see me, I mean really see me. So tell me. Here is your chance……
I got a really good suggestion from Kelli (French~fry) to write about me. I do sort of write about me, but just how I relate to other persons when I am really writing about them. So it is your turn! Anyone that would like to write about me, it can be about how you met me, or a funny thing that I had done with you, or what you think of me, or whatever turns your crank, and I will post it on my blog. I will give everyone a day that would like to write. Just send me an email with the title you would like to use and your story and I will post one everyday until I run out of stories. In Paula’s famous words remember to “Be Nice…..”! Ha-ha No really just have fun with it, I can take it! I will be very interested to see what my creative friends come up with. I am waiting get to writing!

My thought for the day:

Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

What a perfect song for HUMP day!

My Humps
by The Black Eyed Peas

(sing it Billy "O", Blue Genie & Paula!) Imagine us grown women rocking out in my car on Friday night singing away to this song! True Story! Gotta love it!

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

I drive these scrubbers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then Donna Karen,
they be sharin’
All their money got me wearin’
Fly gearrr but I ain’t askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n,
Se7en Jeans, True Religion,
I say no, but they keep givin’
So I keep on takin’
And no I ain’t fakin’
We can keep on datin’
I keep on demonstrating.


My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She’s got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me


What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)


I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let’s go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Lets spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

They say I’m really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin’ a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin’ at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can’t touch it,
If u touch it I’ma start some drama,
You don’t want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don’t pull on my hand boy,
You ain’t my man, boy,
I’m just tryn’a dance boy,
And move my hump.


My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps x3 In the back and in the front.
My lovin’ got u,
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon’ do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I’ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin all your money on me and spendin’ time on me
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.

agoogy poogy

Most of you haven't got the pleasure of meeting Delicia, my friend that I have known the longest (longest that I stay in close touch with that is.) Delicia and I don't do much together, because right now we are in two different areas of our life. She has a son just about to turn one and as you all know my children are 14 & 15, but just because we don't do much together at this juncture in life doesn't mean we aren't still close. Delicia is on of my dearest friends and our relationship is more like we our sisters then friends. I have more stories then ever about Delicia and I but they are all from when we were kids, I will share some here and there and some of my newer friends can really see where my crazy side began! and you all thought I just began being wild in my 30's nah, I always have been!I met Delicia when I was 13 years old it was the summer between 6th and 7th grade, Delicia was 12. My mother and father had just separated and we were moving into my Grandfather's house who passed away the year prior. It was a hard time in my life and I was glad to have met her that summer. So how did we meet? I was in the yard with my younger brother when I got hit in the head with a crab apple. In my grandfathers yard was a huge crab apple tree and then a line of hedges that blocked the view of the alley. So when I looked around I couldn't see who threw the apple, but when about 5 more proceeded to hit me and my little brother in the head I could plainly see three kids laughing and ducking behind the hedges. I ran around those hedges and chased them down the alley and that is how I became friends with Delicia, her older brother Jimmy and her younger sister Jenny. The summer I met the 3 of them became the most rememberable childhood memories, that I still cherish until this day.

Delicia lived down the alley from me and everytime we wanted to see eachother instead of using the phone we would run to the far corner of our back yards and yell agoogy poogy! Agoogy poogy? It came from a stupid McDonald's commercial where Ronald McDonald was dressed up as a baby and said agoogy poogy, what can I say we were goofy little kids! I like to say that was the last thing we took from a commercial and used it in our childhood fun but that wouldn't be so. We also thought we would star in a Dr Pepper commercial at that age to. Do you remember the Dr. Pepper commercial that went I'm a pepper, your a pepper, wouldn't you like to be a pepper too? Be a pepper drink Dr. Pepper. Well Delicia and I for hours would dance around my back yard with our batons and sing that song. Give me a break at least we aren't like the kids these days that sit in front of the tv and play video games we made our own fun! Delicia's and our child hood together was mostly good times but one year I almost lost her when she was hit by a vehicle on second street. She was just grounded the day before for coming to my house instead of going to Mini Mart to go get bread and so the next day when Delicia didn't return home a quickly as she should of from going to get milk from Mini Mart her mother called my house looking for her. I sure wished that she would of been at my house that night! Delicia was in a coma for a bit and slowly recovered from being hit by a truck. I am so thankful that a miracle was given to her and her family & me because I would of missed out on such a great friend if I lost her that day. Delicia is right up there with Paula on the sweetness chart. Delicia is a kind soul that has blessed my life in so many ways. I am sure you will find in all my stories you can agree with my saying "everything happens for a reason!" Love ya Delicia! (here are some pics of Delicia and I and her sister) I will have to scan some childhood pictures and share them sometime.

My thought for the day:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent!

Song for Tuesday!

I'm on Fire

by Bruce Springsteen

Hey little girl is your daddy home

Did he go away and leave you all alone

I got a bad desire

I'm on fire

Tell me now baby is he good to you

Can he do to you the things that i do

I can take you higher

I'm on fire

Sometimes it's like someone took a knife baby

Edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley

Through the middle of my soul

At night i wake up with the sheets soaking wet

And a freight train running through the

Middle of my head

Only you can cool my desire

I'm on fire

Something about Dorie........

Most of you know Dorie, she is one of my oldest friends. Not by age but in length. Dorie is the one with beautiful blond hair and the prettiest eyes that anyone has ever seen. Dorie is the woman that walks in the bar and women and men both stop to stare in her direction. She certainly doesn’t have to buy many drinks when she goes out!!!! Dorie is my heart and soul friend. She is the friend that has seen me at my darkest and been through more life experiences with me then any other friend other then Delicia. Dorie and I are both bull headed but I know she will continue to love me NO matter what, and I her. I have a tendency to mother Dorie, but damn it some times she needs mothering! Ha-ha. Dorie is certainly a friend that I trust with anything and she is one that probably knows me better then my own mother. I know she and I will grow old together and we will still be looking out for each other, like I said she isn’t just in my heart she is in my soul! I have shared so many good times with Dorie but I love most the story of how I met her and it really shows that everything happens for a reason.

I was 14 and so Dorie was 13 (we went to different schools), when my father moved into a house in Paradise Valley shortly after my mother and he had separated. I was at my fathers that weekend and I saw her out in her front yard next door to my father’s house and we started talking. You know girls at that age talk about boyfriends…. Well we were really getting along well and we had a lot in common including our boyfriends having the same first name. Can you believe that? Well it gets better come to find out he had the same last name too! So Dorie and I walked down to his house and he answered the door. I would have loved to capture his face when he saw both of us standing at his door together. Priceless. Well we certainly have moved on from that two timer (his name was Darryl if you were wondering)! We are both married now and go figure our husbands don’t share the same first name or last for that fact! There is so many stories I would love to tell about her and her & I but I think I should save them and sneak one in every now and then!

Thought for the day:

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Dedicated to Bobbie..... Monday's song in my head.

Glamorous
by Fergie

(miss you already, Bobbie Jo!)

If you aint got no money take yo'broke ass home
You say: If you aint got no money take yo'broke ass home
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

[B-Section:]We flying the first class
Up in the sky
Poppin' champagneLivin' the life
In the fast lane
And I wont change
For the glamorous, oh the flossy flossy

[chorus:]The glamorous,
The glamorous, glamorous (the glamorous life)
For the glamorous, oh the flossy flossy

[Verse:]Wear them gold and diamonds rings
All them things dont mean a thing
Chaperons and limousines
Shopping for expensive things
I be on the moovie screens
Magazines and boogie scenes
Im not clean,
Im not pristine
Im n queen,
Im no machine
I still go to Taco Bell
Drivethrough, raw as Hell
I dont care,
Im still real
No matter how many records I seal
After the show or after the grammys
I like to go cool out with the family
Sippin', reminscing on days when I had a Mustang
And now I'm in...

[B-section then chorus]
[Ludacris:]
Im talking Champagne wishes, caviar dreams
You deserve nothing but all the finer things
Now this whole world has no clue to do with us
I've got enough money in the bank for the two of us
Brother gotta keep enough lettuce
To support your shoe fetish
Lifestyles so rich and famous
Robin Leach will get jealous
Half a million for the stones
Takin trips from here to Rome
So If you aint got no money take yo'broke ass home
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

[B-section + chorus x2]

[Verse:]
I got problems up to here
I've got people in my ear
Telling me these crazy things
That I dont want to know (fuck y'all)
I've got money in the bank
And I'd really like to thank
All the fans, I'd like to thank
Thank you really though
Cuz i remember yesterday
When I dreamt about the days
When I'd rock on MTV, that be really dope
Damn, It's been a long road
And the industry is cold
I'm glad my daddy tell me so, he let his daugther know. [x3]

Monday's Suck!

Here it is Monday again! I had an awesome weekend and by the looks of the weather today it was the last we will probably see of the patio until next year! (Damn!) Boobs came into town and like usual she was a huge addition to our fun. I took some good pictures this weekend so I am sure I will be putting some new ones up on this blog really soon (Sean you better look out!) ha ha! I came unprepared today to the blog and I don't have an idea to write about today, but I have something in mind for tomorrow! So everyone have a great Monday! Thought you might like this pic of my cat Maury, the kids just love to torture the poor thing!

Thought for the day:

Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

The song that I always start the party with!

Sir Mix-A-Lot
Baby Got Back

Do I have a big butt? Hell NO! but do I know how to shake what my momma gave me? fuck ya!

Oh my god, becky look at her butt
it is so big uhh she looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends
but u know who understands those rap guys
they only talk 2 her becuz she looks like a total prostitute
ok i mean her butt...its just so big
uhh i can't believe its just so round
its out there
gross look shes just so black

I like big butts and I cannot lie
u other brotherz can't deny
when a girl walks in with a itty, bitty, waist
and a round thing in ur face u get sprung
want to pull up tough
cuz u noticed that butt was stuck
beef to the jeans shes wearing
im hooked and I can't stop staring
oh baby I wanna get wit cha
and take ur pictcha
my homeboys tryed 2 warn me
but that butt u got makes me so horny
ooooooo rumple smooth skin u say u wanna get my benz
well use me use me
cuz u ain't that average groupie
I seen her dancin
to hell with romancing
she sweat wet shes got it going like a turbo jet
im tired of magazines
seenin flat butts are the thing
cuz the average black man ask him that
shes got 2 pack much back
so fellas YAH!
fellasYAH!
cuz ur girlfriends got the butt
HELL YAH!
shake it yah
shake it yah
shake that healthy butt
baby got back
baby got back
I like them round and big
and when Im throwing a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm acting like an animal
now here's my scandal
I wanna get u home and
uh double up
uh uh
I ain't talking bout playboy
those silicon parts are made for toys
I want them real thick and juicy
so find that juicy double
mix-alot seem trouble
begging for a piece of that bubble
so Im looking at rock videos
knocking these bimbos looking like hoes
u can those bimbos
I keep my women like flo-joa
word to the thick soled sisterz
i wanna get wit chai won't cus or hit chai
gotta be straight when I sayI wanna
uh to the break of dawn
baby's got it going on
a lot of sims won't like this song
cuz thoses punks like to hit and quit it
and I'd ratehr stay and play
cuz I'm long and I'm strong
and I'm down to get this frick shit on
so ladiesYAH!
ladiesYAH!
so u wanna roll my mercedesYAH!
so turn around stick it out even white boys got 2 shout
baby got back
baby got back
yah baby when it comes to females
cosmo ain't got nothing to do with my selection
362436
only if she's 5'3"
so ur girlfriend owns a honda
playing workout tapes by fonda
but fonda ain't got a motor on the back of her honda
my anacoda
don't got none unless u got buns hun
you can do side bends or sit-ups
but please don't use that butt
some brotherz wanna play that hard roll
and tell ya that the butt ain't gold
so they toss and leave it
and i pull up quick to retrieve it
so cosmo says ur fat
well i ain't down wit dat
cuz ur waist is small and ur curves are kicking
and im thinking bout sticking
to the beanpole dames and the magazines
you ain't it miss thing
give me a sista i can't resist her
red beans and rice didn't miss her
some knuckle head tried to dis
cuz those girls are on my list
he had game but he chose to hit em
and I pull up quick to get wit him
so ladies if da butt is round
and u wanna triple xbo down
dial 1-900-mixalot and kick dem nasty thoughts
baby got back
baby got back
little in the middle but u got much back
little in the middle but u got much back
little in the middle but u got much back
little in the middle but u got much back

TGIF

I am so glad it is Friday, this week has just been a week from HELL. Last night though was a much needed escape, Thanks Theresa, Seany, Dorie & my better half.... Tim. Wow I can't believe I am not even hung this morning it is probably because I promised to go home at 9 if we went. So at 9:37 after a few drinks and only $4.00 in the juke box I went home before my nose was even numb, can you believe it? Today is going to be a good day I can tell I am not even tired, even though I didn't quite go to sleep when I went to bed! ;0) hmmmm

I love Fridays, especially around 4 o'clock when the emails, texts or calls start coming, "Hey Mish what's the game plan for tonight?" Am I the party planner? I would like to think so, and we all have a good time no matter if we hang out on the patio, throw darts at the Moonlight, belly up to the bar, or my all time favorite go dancing! It always seems like our night starts out very casual we all sit down get our first drink there is a calmness almost a serenity and then I have a second drink and then I hear the juke box playing (and we all know how I am when it isn't playing the songs I think it should be playing) and then the money is getting passed to me to load the juke box up right and then usually all hell breaks loose! LOL Not in a bad way of course in a good way. Like Boob's always says the Bar it's an adult playground anything goes!

Unfortunately this weekend I don't get to party like a Rock Star. :( Tonight Timothy Wayne is photographing the Oil Bowl (Go Kelly Walsh!) and I am baking birthday cakes. Yes cakes like in more then one, my daughter turns 14 and I have to have two parties tomorrow for her, one for the family and one for 12 little teenage girls. Thank goodness only two of them are spending the night! hmmmm maybe since Boobs is coming in to town maybe we should all be at my house and show those teenage girls how we do Karaoke! Love shack baby! Well girls Boobs will be here I would say about 8 or so, so we will see what the game plan is for later. I don't know if Tim could take another weekend when he comes home from work and finds all these drunk women on the patio! Well come to think of it he might not mind, some of my friends have a hard time keeping covered up all the time! (you know who you are) Exhibitionists! I wouldn't change one damn thing about any of my friends, I love you all just the way you are! Like I said before everyone is normal until you get to know them! And seriously who would want to hang out with people that were boring? Life is to short not to have a good time! Like I always say I like my friends with a little snot in em!

My thought for the day:

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is a beauty, admire it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is life, fight for it!-

Mother Teresa

Song in my head for Thusday.......

Beastie Boys
Girls

Girls - all I really want is girls
And in the morning it's girls
Cause in the evening it's girls

I like the way that they walk
And it's chill to hear them talk
And I can always make them smile
From White Castle to the Nile

Back in the day
There was this girl around the way
She liked by home-piece M.C.A.
He said he would not give her play
I asked him, "Please?" - he said, "You may."
Her pants were tight and that's ok
If she would dance - I would D.J.
We took a walk down to the bay

I hope she'll say, "Hey me and you should hit the hay!"
I asked her out - she said, "No way!
I probably should guest she be gay!
"So I broke North with no delay
I heard she moved real far away
That was two years ago this May
I seen her just the other day
Jockin' Mike D. to my dismay

Girls - to do the dishes
Girls - to clean up my room
Girls - to do the laundry
Girls - and in the bathroom
Girls - that's all I really want is girls
Two at a time - I want girls
With new wave hairdos - I want girls
I ought to whip out my - girls, girls, girls, girls, girls! Yah!!!

Zug, Zug Launa....

Zug Zug Launa, ha-ha have you ever seen the movie Caveman? It is a comedy from the 80's. The main character which is Ringo Starr is in love with a cave girl and her name is Launa so that is where I got the term Zug Zug Launa.

I met Launa at my favorite hang out she is the bartender/bar maid. Launa is a real addition to my circle of friends. Launa is my strong friend, she is a single mother and she works full time and still is an awesome mother. Launa loves the arts she loves to go to plays and musicals and invites me along to enjoy them with her and her daughter. Launa is quite the beauty (see she even looks good without makeup!) and talk about a bod, shit that girl is built like a brick shit house. How does one fit in exercise with a life as busy as hers I will never know! Launa is a genuine person and I feel extremely lucky to have her as a friend. Know any single men out there that can handle a strong woman that is independent but will love you like no other. Well let Launa know! (she likes the cowboy type!) Launa I admire how you know what you want out of life and you will not stop until you have it the way you want it!

The thought for the day:

Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

In honor of HUMP day this is the song in my head......

Get Stoned
by Hinder (Extreme Behavior)

(yes Boobs I wish you were here to sing it with me!)

Just hear me out
If it's not perfect
I'll perfect it till my heart explodes
I highly doubt
I can make it through another of your episodes
Lashing out
One of the petty moves you pull before you lose control
You wear me out
But it's all right now
Lets go home and get stoned
We could end up makin love instead of misery
Go home and get stoned
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me
You wear me out (We could end up making love instead of misery)
But it's all right now
Without a doubt
The break up is worth the make up sex you're givin me
Lets hash it out
Cause your bitchin and your yellin don't mean anything
Don't count me out
I can handle all the baggage that you're carrying
You wear me out
But it's all right now
Let's go home and get stoned
We could end up makin love instead of misery
Go home and get stoned
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me
You wear me out (We could end up makin love instead of misery)
But it's alright now
Lets go home and get stoned
We could end up makin love instead of misery
Go home and get stoned
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me
Go home and get stoned
We could end up making love instead of misery
Go home and get stoned
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me
You wear me out(We could end up makin love instead of misery)
But it's all right now(Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me)
Lets go home and get stoned
Lets go home and get stoned
Lets go home and get stoned
Lets go home and get stoned

The Pick Up Artist....

Am I actually a pick up artist in the real sense? No…. I am very happily married and have the husband of most women’s dreams and for that fact of mine too. (Tim’s story will wait for another blog!) I am a Master at picking up new friends and yes some of them I have picked up sorta speak at the bar, like Boobs (Bobbie), Launa & my person of choice to blog about today, Theresa. Have you ever met someone you swear their heart is made of gold? That is Theresa, she is fiercely loyal and one of the most giving persons I know. She can also drink most men under the table! Gotta love that in a girl, right? I can’t believe I have only known Theresa just a little over a year and from the moment I met her I felt like I have known her a lifetime. Can a life be richer just by knowing someone; I am here to tell you yes it can. I guess by the title of my blog today you can guess just by that alone where I found Theresa! Ha-ha. Do I meet all my friends in a bar or do we all just drink when we are together? Heck no but this is the BEST stuff to write about! Don’t you think?

I was throwing darts with my usual crowd of friends when she walked in the joint. (Ha-ha sounded like one of those lines from a cheesy detective story). Theresa evidentially had met Sean one of my good friends an evening before when Shelly, Sean’s sister introduced the two. So when she walked in and we all greeted her and had introductions all around that is how it all began…..

She is one of my very best friends now and she is engaged to marry Sean. That is why I always tell everyone, everything happens for a reason. Theresa I am so glad that you walked into that bar that given night! Meant to be I tell ya! If I had never got to met you I would never of got to see that great head stand and flip you can do off of the couch while intoxicated and I would never of had a girlfriend that would have got a matching tattoo with me, or the most important of all a friend that I hold so dear as I do you. For the ones that don’t know, Theresa and I got a matching tattoo on August 22nd. What is it? Well…… If you don’t already know I guess you will have to get drunk with us and find out! Theresa I love you girl, first tattoo (in a mighty painful place too I might add), and she did it for me! So sista’s who is next to get the Crazy Bitch mark? I still think you all should do it! Come on don’t be scared I will hold your hand!

Now to leave you with my thought for the day:

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E.coli) bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, or beer) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health.Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service

What song is in my head for Tuesday???

Goody Two Shoes (or what I call it; Don't drink, don't smoke, What do you do?)
by Adam Ant



With the heartbreak open
So much you can't hide
Put on a little makeup makeup
Make sure they get your good side good side

If the words unspoken
Get stuck in your throat
Send a treasure token token
Write it on a pound note pound note

Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Subtle innuends follow
There must be something inside he's hiding

We don't follow fashion
That would be a joke
You know we're going to set them set them
So everyone can take note take note

When they saw you kneeling
Crying words that you mean
Opening their eyeballs eyeballs
Pretending that you're al green al green

No one's gonna tell me
What's wrong or what's right
Or tell me who to eat with sleep with
Or that i've won the big fight big fight

Look out or they'll tell you
You're a "superstar"
Two weeks and you're an all time legend
I think the games have gone much too far

If the words unspoken
Get stuck in your throat
Send a treasure token token
Write it on a pound note pound note

Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Don't drink... etc.

"Be Nice...."

Do you know Paula? Most of you do. She is my friend that says "Quite frankly" & "Pardon me, please and the all time favorite "Be nice....." She is one of my sweetest friends, seriously you could get a cavity just by standing to close to Paula! Even her voice has that sweetness in it, not really mini mouse but close it is a soft sweet voice that automatically wills you to be nicer. Even me! The only time Sweet Paula will curse is if she is really mad, and when she reaches that point look out the F word will come flying off that pristine tongue with ease. Paula is the girl that wears Wranglers and a t-shirt but has a $500.00 Coach purse, and drinks expensive wine. She is the girl that when you meet her you automatically love her. How did I meet Paula you might ask? Well let me tell you.....

I have a friend named Christina who is my daughter's best friends mother. Christina was Ms. Central Wyoming last year and is my hairdresser that keeps my hair not gray and my eyebrows perfectly groomed. Christina had a client and a friend named Paula that wanted to take clogging and Christina said if I would do it she would do it too. So we all took clogging together (see my friends before a performance Sherry, Paula, Christina, & Lisa) starting 3 years ago and to this day Paula and I still are clogging together. We take clogging on Friday afternoons and our teacher until this year has been the famous Blue Genie. On Friday I would occasionally come to clogging hung (hard to believe I know!) and talk about the wild fun I had at the bar. Paula was intrigued and said she wanted to partake in some of that fun. I warned her honestly I did but she still wanted to go out with me and my friends. I was like wow I am honestly going to corrupt this sweet girl.

So..... On a Friday night I told her I would pick her up and she would go out with me and my friends to throw darts at my favorite bar. The evening started great, (boy this was about to change) I got all fixed up in my leather hat and my leather vest (love leather and biker clothes) and headed over to pick up Paula. Paula gets in my Jeep and we start heading to the ATM to go get money for the evening of fun. As we are driving a cat runs into the road and before I could swerve and Paula got out the words CAT the cat hit my front tire and then went under the front tire. I slammed on the breaks and looked in my rear view mirror at the cat flopping around in the road wildly and I just knew it couldn't be good. I have never killed anything in my entire life and I am the biggest cat lover, so I knew this was not going to be easy. Paula and I walk up to the cat in the road and watch its poor little life slip away and by this time I am bawling over this damn cat that someone should of kept in the HOUSE! What to do next? Well Paula and I figure someone needs to know about what I had just done to their beloved pet, so we start knocking on doors to find an owner. 1st door we get someone to answer is this little old lady with curlers in her hair and a Christmas night gown and robe (It isn't even Christmas by the way or even close to Christmas) and I am thinking oh shit I am going to scare this little old lady because I am standing there in all my biker garb telling her I just killed possibly her cat! And the other thought in my mind, boy Paula is going to think I am fucking CRAZY! The Christmas lady opened her door and I tell her threw my tears what had just transpired with the cat, that thank God wasn't hers and in the meantime the ladies poodle comes out the door and piddles all over Paula's new golden sandals. So the Christmas lady goes and gets us paper towels to wipe Paula's pee sandals up and to pick up kitty out of the street and move the little body to the side of the road. I pick up kitty with the paper towels set its poor little lifeless carcass in someones yard and decide to continue looking for an owner.

2nd door was a burly man and we asked him if he had a cat his response "I don't know?" I said you don't know if you have a fricken cat?????? Well he walks over to the lifeless body of this fluffy cat that I had just murdered and said Nope never seen that cat before. So needles to say we never found an owner for the cat I murdered but Paula called Metro and tells them they need to pick up the body of the unknown cat. Back in the car we go and we are on our way to fun we hope cause this sure hasn't turned out to be a magic night so far! We arrive at my house to pick up Tim with no more incidents and I introduce Paula to my husband who goes to shake her hand and she says "I would shake your hand but I have poodle pee all over them!"

Wow what a long story I know, did we end up having fun? Oh hell ya! We had a reason to drink by the time we actually made it to the bar. Paula and I are very close now and I love to laugh at this story from time to time it reminds me of how accepting my friends are of me, and how even though something bad might happen it doesn't have to ruin the whole evening.

My thought for the day:

Everyone is NORMAL, until you get to know them!

Monday's song in my head... (dedicated to Friday night!)

The Love Shack
from the B-52's

If you see a faded sign by the side of the road that says
15 miles to the... love shack! love shack yeah
I'm headin' down the atlanta highway, lookin' for the love getaway
Heading for the love getaway, love getaway,
I got me a car, it's as big as a whale and we're headin' on down
To the love shack
I got me a chrysler, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your jukebox money
The love shack is a little old place where we can get together
Love shack baby, love shack bay-bee.
Love baby, that's where it's at, ooo love baby, that's where it's at

Sign says.. woo... stay away fools, 'cause love rules at the love shack!
Well it's set way back in the middle of a field,
Just a funky old shack and i gotta get back

Glitter on the mattress
Glitter on the highway
Glitter on the front porch
Glitter on the hallway

The love shack is a little old place where we can get together
Love shack baby! love shack, that's where it's at!
Huggin' and a kissin', dancin' and a lovin', wearin' next to nothing
Cause it's hot as an oven
The whole shack shimmies! the whole shack shimmies when everybody's
Movin' around and around and around!
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby!
Folks linin' up outside just to get down
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby
Funky little shack! funky little shack!

Hop in my chrysler, it's as big as a whale and it's about to set sail!
I got me a car, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your jukebox money.

Bang bang bang on the door baby! knock a little louder baby!
Bang bang bang on the door baby! i can't hear you
Your what?.... tin roof, rusted!

Love shack, baby love shack!
Love baby, that's where it's at
Huggin' and a kissin', dancin' and a lovin' at the love shack

What happens on the patio stays on the patio!

This weekend was good. You know life is good.... I sit back sometimes and just watch everyone having a good time on the patio and think to myself, "my life is so rich!". I have the greatest friends and every time we are all together no matter what we are doing we have such a good time.

Friday night Boobs came in to town, I cried when I found out she was moving but you know it hasn't been as bad as I thought, we have actually grown closer now that she lives 3 1/2 hours away. Why? because every other weekend she comes to stay with me and we spend more time together like this then we did when she actually lived here. When I am asked "how did you meet Boobs (Bobbie)?" I always say I picked her up in the bar. Which really isn't that far off, I met her in the bar and we became fast friends. The reason I love Bobbie (Boobs her nickname would of been so awkward placed here ha-ha) is because from the day I met her I could be my total self and when I feel that comfortability with someone I know they are going to be a close friend. I feel that with all my friends that I am close with, isn't that the way we should all pick our bff's? Unconditional love isn't that what life is about? When Boobs is around I can always cut loose and be as crazy or as noncrazy as I want too and that is true with all my friends but you know for some reason Bobbie really pulls out my inner wildness. Bobbie loves to sing with me to the juke box, the radio, our i pods or even to the music in the Grocery Store! What you got to love about Bobbie is when she is drunk or not drunk for that matter she kind of makes up her own lyrics or she just improvises because she doesn't know them not sure which! So being me..... I print out the lyrics to the songs we love to sing and I give them to Bobbie and say here you go doll learn these! Anal? ya maybe a little, neither of us can sing that well but shit at least we will sing it right! I wanna be a rock star right Boobs? ;0) So this weekend instead of sticking only to the patio, we ended up downstairs with mine, Billy "O"s & Blue Genie's daughters and my daughters friend singing Karaoke. I am sure my 14 year old daughter at first wanted us to go away but after a while they were joining in with us and actually picking songs for us to sing! Britney Spears & Joan Jett would of just loved our concert! So in honor of our Karaoke evening I spent with my bff's Boobs, Billy "O", Blue Genie, Paula & my sweet Theresa that was there in spirit only; here is some of the lyrics to Ya-Ya. Gotta love it right girls? or maybe not......


Sitting here la la waiting for my ya ya
uh huh uh huh (sing it Billy "O")


Baby hurry don't make me worry
uh huh uh huh. (sing it again Billy "O" just think no spoon for a microphone this time!"

The shit we sing when we are polluted!


Well summer is almost gone...... So our nights on the patio making great memories will have to be coming to an end until next year. My neighbors will probably be glad to hear that! ha-ha. So the new saying for my patio has become "What happens on Tim & Michelle's patio, stays at Tim & Michelle's patio!" I don't know girls do you think we can top this summer's patio wildness next year? I think that might be a tough one to accomplish! I would probably be beat to death if I disclosed anything on this blog that has happened on the patio! So I will stick with the new rules and not disclose too much anyway!

I will leave you a thought for the day:

Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you can't get them back.

So I'm gonna tie you to my heart so I never lose you.

Friday's song in my head......

Red Hot Chili Peppers
Tell Me Baby

They come from every state to find
Some dreams were meant to be declined
Tell the man what did you have in mind
What have you come to do

No turning water into wine
No learning while you're in the line
I'll take you to the broken sign
You see the lights are blue

Come and get it
Lost it at the city limit
Say goodbye
Cause they will find a way to trim it
Everybody Lookin' for a silly gimmick
Gotta get away

Can't take it for another minute
This town is made of many things
Just look at what the current brings
So high it's only promising
This place was made on you

Tell me baby what's your story
Where you come from And where you wanna go this time Tell me lover are you lonely
The thing we need is
Never all that hard to find
Tell me baby what's your story
Where do you come from
And where you wanna go this time
Your so lovely are you lonely
Giving up on the innocence you left behind

Some claim to have the fortitude
To shrewd to blow the interlude
Sustaining pain to set a mood
Step out to be renewed

I'll move you like a baritone
Jungle brothers on the microphone
Getting over with an undertone
It's time to turn to stone

Chitty chitty baby
When your nose is in the nitty gritty
Life could be a little sweet
But life could be a little shitty
What a pity Boston and a kansas city
Looking for a hundred
But you only ever found a fitty

Three fingers in the honeycomb
You ring just like a xylophone
Devoted to the chromosome
The day that you left home

Thursday's song in my head......

BuckCherry
Next 2 You

Come to you honey on the east side runnin' and I ain't got time to waste

Jump into the car in the back seat lovin' but your keeping me on the chase

I've been trying all nightlong I put up with your favorite songs all night

Tempted by your tainted love

I surely like for you to come inside my crystal ball what can I do

Is it true what they say you won't give it away

And I don't what to do to next to you, next to you

Every night everyday you just push me away

Tell me what should I do to next to you, next to you

I've been trying all nightlong cause I want to get next to you

I wrote about you baby in this song and I want to get next to you Next to you

Better than koolaid sweet my buttercup baby's got a pretty face I got to have it, it's another bad habit I hope I am not here to late

[Pre-Chorus]

[Chorus]

[Solo]

Spent my money, teasing me honey, what should I do

When you gonna show me?

I think you owe me, come on baby see it through

[Chorus]

"Do you want fries with those well...... fries?"

It is Friday!

Today I am dedicating my blog to my friend French~fry. French~fry? Most of you know I like to nickname my friends. No, I don't have a nickname for all my friends yet it has to come to me, and some of my friends I just haven't had one come to mind yet. I have a few delightfully nicknamed, like Boobs (Bobbie) we all know why I fondly call her that, they enter the room before she does, she can make them dance with NO hands required and the first time I met here she said "feel them they feel real don't they?" So her nickname came to me easily. Then I have my two "sisters" Blue Genie (Kelly) & Billy "O" (Dd). Well Kelly was named Blue Genie, which most of you know why but for those of you who don't let me tell ya! Have you ever seen the reality show King of Cars if you haven't please watch it! Kelly drinks Red Bull and Jager and she blue genie's everything, my lawn chair, my washing machine, my fridge, Tim's tool box, my Jeep, me, Billy "O" , the juke box at the bar (see the picture) and anything else she feels like doing the blue genie on. Believe me no one or thing is safe from the BLUE GENIE! Red Bull really does give you wings, huh Kel? Then I have my other "sis" she isn't my real sis but boy do we have a lot of the same traits, I fondly call her Billy "O" because (oops can't tell you it is a little x-rated!) You will have to know me well enough to know a song I like a lot that has that name in the lyrics and that will clue you off or you can bribe Blue Genie with some Red Bull and Jager to tell you why! She told me a story when liqueured up one night and now we have Dd nicknamed Billy "O"! Soooooo back to French Fry, I met Kelli a little over three years ago. I actually work with her but she lives in Utah and works for the Utah Plant. You are probably wondering how did she get her nickname? and if you aren't I am going to tell you why any way! ha-ha When she came to get trained I went to lunch with her twice and dinner once and the only thing she ate was french fries! No joke, so that is why I call her french~fry. I dedicated my blog today to her because she so badly wants to meet all of my friends and I wanted you to meet her! Since she lives so far away I thought I could at least introduce her to you on my blog. So here is a picture of my friend French~fry (Kelli) and her daughter Kacie. Someday I hope you all will get the pleasure of meeting Kelli in person, so girls do you think French~fry can hang with us Crazy Bitchs? A little Jager and just maybe...... Your turn French~fry comment and tell my friends more about yourself or girls comment and ask French~fry some questions!

Have a great weekend! My Promise for the weekend? I promise not to use the hose! Wouldn't want to be told by my 15 year old daughter "Mom, you freakin idiot, lay off the alcohol! ha-ha Guess you had to be there! Huh, Boobs, Billy "O" and Blue Genie? Here is my thought for the day:

Friends...

Friends are like butt cheeks.

Crap might separate them, But they always come back together.

Thank goodness tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!

Bobbie will be here tomorrow! Let the fun begin, ha-ha. I will probably have a lot more to blog about by Monday! Everyone keep Sean in your thoughts he has surgery tomorrow, so Theresa won't be at the party Saturday unless Sean feels well enough. Billy "O" and Blue Genie, did you figure out how to use a blog yet? Well today I will post your picture in honor of my two sisters! Happy Thursday!

Let me leave you with a thought for the day:

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.

When you know which one it is for a person, you will know what to do
for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need
you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend, and they are!
They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any
wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will
say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been
answered, and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has
come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace,
or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you
an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must
build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is
to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to
use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

How I named the blog spot.....

AC/DC
What Do You Do For Money Honey

You're working in bars
Riding in cars
Never gonna give it for free
You're apartment with a view
On the finest avenue
Looking at your beat on the street
You're always pushing, shoving
Satisfied with nothing
You bitch, you must be getting old

So stop your love on the road
All your digging for gold
You make me wonder

Yes I wonder, I wonder
Honey, whaddya do for money?
Honey, whaddya do for money?
Where you get your kicks?

You're loving on the take
And you're always on the make
Squeezing all the blood out of men
They're all standing in a queue
Just to spend the night with you
It's business as usual again
You're always grabbin', stabbin'
Trying to get it back in
But girl you must be getting slow

So stop your love on the road
All your digging for gold
You make me wonder
Yes I wonder, I wonder

Honey, whaddya do for money?
Honey, whaddya do for money?
Whaddya do for money honey, how you get your kicks?
Whaddya do for money honey, how you get your licks?

What you gonna do?

Fun

http://www.poodwaddle.com/realage.swf Here is something fun to do. Can you believe the way I smoke and drink and it says I will live to be like 80! Remember everyone Launa's party 6 pm on Saturday hope to see you all there!