"Be Nice...."

Do you know Paula? Most of you do. She is my friend that says "Quite frankly" & "Pardon me, please and the all time favorite "Be nice....." She is one of my sweetest friends, seriously you could get a cavity just by standing to close to Paula! Even her voice has that sweetness in it, not really mini mouse but close it is a soft sweet voice that automatically wills you to be nicer. Even me! The only time Sweet Paula will curse is if she is really mad, and when she reaches that point look out the F word will come flying off that pristine tongue with ease. Paula is the girl that wears Wranglers and a t-shirt but has a $500.00 Coach purse, and drinks expensive wine. She is the girl that when you meet her you automatically love her. How did I meet Paula you might ask? Well let me tell you.....

I have a friend named Christina who is my daughter's best friends mother. Christina was Ms. Central Wyoming last year and is my hairdresser that keeps my hair not gray and my eyebrows perfectly groomed. Christina had a client and a friend named Paula that wanted to take clogging and Christina said if I would do it she would do it too. So we all took clogging together (see my friends before a performance Sherry, Paula, Christina, & Lisa) starting 3 years ago and to this day Paula and I still are clogging together. We take clogging on Friday afternoons and our teacher until this year has been the famous Blue Genie. On Friday I would occasionally come to clogging hung (hard to believe I know!) and talk about the wild fun I had at the bar. Paula was intrigued and said she wanted to partake in some of that fun. I warned her honestly I did but she still wanted to go out with me and my friends. I was like wow I am honestly going to corrupt this sweet girl.

So..... On a Friday night I told her I would pick her up and she would go out with me and my friends to throw darts at my favorite bar. The evening started great, (boy this was about to change) I got all fixed up in my leather hat and my leather vest (love leather and biker clothes) and headed over to pick up Paula. Paula gets in my Jeep and we start heading to the ATM to go get money for the evening of fun. As we are driving a cat runs into the road and before I could swerve and Paula got out the words CAT the cat hit my front tire and then went under the front tire. I slammed on the breaks and looked in my rear view mirror at the cat flopping around in the road wildly and I just knew it couldn't be good. I have never killed anything in my entire life and I am the biggest cat lover, so I knew this was not going to be easy. Paula and I walk up to the cat in the road and watch its poor little life slip away and by this time I am bawling over this damn cat that someone should of kept in the HOUSE! What to do next? Well Paula and I figure someone needs to know about what I had just done to their beloved pet, so we start knocking on doors to find an owner. 1st door we get someone to answer is this little old lady with curlers in her hair and a Christmas night gown and robe (It isn't even Christmas by the way or even close to Christmas) and I am thinking oh shit I am going to scare this little old lady because I am standing there in all my biker garb telling her I just killed possibly her cat! And the other thought in my mind, boy Paula is going to think I am fucking CRAZY! The Christmas lady opened her door and I tell her threw my tears what had just transpired with the cat, that thank God wasn't hers and in the meantime the ladies poodle comes out the door and piddles all over Paula's new golden sandals. So the Christmas lady goes and gets us paper towels to wipe Paula's pee sandals up and to pick up kitty out of the street and move the little body to the side of the road. I pick up kitty with the paper towels set its poor little lifeless carcass in someones yard and decide to continue looking for an owner.

2nd door was a burly man and we asked him if he had a cat his response "I don't know?" I said you don't know if you have a fricken cat?????? Well he walks over to the lifeless body of this fluffy cat that I had just murdered and said Nope never seen that cat before. So needles to say we never found an owner for the cat I murdered but Paula called Metro and tells them they need to pick up the body of the unknown cat. Back in the car we go and we are on our way to fun we hope cause this sure hasn't turned out to be a magic night so far! We arrive at my house to pick up Tim with no more incidents and I introduce Paula to my husband who goes to shake her hand and she says "I would shake your hand but I have poodle pee all over them!"

Wow what a long story I know, did we end up having fun? Oh hell ya! We had a reason to drink by the time we actually made it to the bar. Paula and I are very close now and I love to laugh at this story from time to time it reminds me of how accepting my friends are of me, and how even though something bad might happen it doesn't have to ruin the whole evening.

My thought for the day:

Everyone is NORMAL, until you get to know them!