Almost the end of the week....

Hi all. Today is Tim's mother's birthday and tomorrow is my Timothy Wayne's. Last night we had a cheerleading bbq for Brookie. It was beautiful weather and really nice sitting outside by the pool. Tonight I don't think we will make it for a drink. We need to go by to Tim's mother's and Tim has a very full schedule on Friday. Saturday we are driving to Fort Collins to do school clothes shopping for the girls and to eat at the Olive Garden. Love the Olive Garden. Last weekend we hurried back from Sundance to go to the family Reunion type bbq. Tim was asked to take the family picture since it has been so long since we have had almost the whole family together and even family that I have never ever met. Funny thing is about the family picture is that it was taken 10 minutes before we arrived. Tim packed all his things to take the picture that he was asked to do a week prior. I guess they were in a HUGE hurry to take a family picture without hmmmmm the whole family. My daughters were there and Brooke was definitely hot when I arrived. She is so like me she voiced her opinion on how stupid it was not to wait for Tim and I. I guess I am use to not fitting in with family. I have always not fit in with my father's side of the family when I was younger. My Mother didn't have any family left so I thought it was important to have at least some family. The hard ship with that is my Grandmother was pregnant with my uncle when my mother and father got married so my Grandmother wasn't much into being a grandmother and my father no matter how much he tried was never the "favorite" child. I have gotten closer to my Grandmother and I will never let her see the pain that I had as a child never feeling that bond with her. I always wanted the grandmother that dotted on me. I remember one time after my youngest Uncle which is only 2 years older then me had two kids my grandmother had told someone she was visiting with that she had only two grandchildren. My brother was standing next her and told her that in fact she had 4. She just replied that Justin and I didn't count cause we were grown. So when Tim and I were left out of the "Family" picture, I was thinking to myself WOW it really does follow me through out my life and now is effecting Tim. It was just an added pain to what I was already going through with my family and then the fact I wasn't even important enough for any of Tim's family to join my Birthday party. I know Tim was bothered as well but he sure hid it well. As I sit back today I realize that is why I have been so blessed with so many great friends that actually totally accept me as who I am and actually love me unconditional as a family would. The hardest thing for me is to be the bigger person and never treat anyone that has hurt me like they have done to me. I found the whole situation as totally unbelievable that everyone thought it was totally fine to have that picture done without Tim. I don't give a fuck about me, but Tim. Wow. So I guess this is just been not a good year for what is so called "family". Love all around.

Thought for the day:

Treat others as you would want to be treated......